The subject about sexuality is always stirring – often love needs to overcome some obstacles, in order to work. People’s experience show that love is a sexual attraction, that it cannot be limited to only one sex, by the social status, or by the borders of different countries. Since ancient times, wars have been fought about the right and freedom to express your feelings and to declare them in front of the whole world. The collision between the desire to be free in love and the imposed societal norms has been used by the masters of some of the greatest masterpieces in literature and art. Regarding the held not too long ago Gay Parade in Athens and the one, which is expected to take place in Sofia, Marina Nikolova sought to find some love answers from an activist from the lesbian group in Athens – Erotophili Diamandopoulos.

How did the Athens Gay Parade go? Are you satisfied? Were there a lot of people?

I would like to note that Athens Pride took place in Athens, on Klavtmonos square on June 13^th under the motto 100% Equality. Due to historic reasons I have to mention that during the 80’s some festivals were organized, which were similar to the Pride one - on the Strefi hill and in Ares park, which were organized by the transvestite Paola. They were not a parade, as it is now, no political organizations were present, there was no music program or a procession in the center of Athens.

This year is very special because it is the 40 year anniversary since the Stonewall riots in New York. In June 1969, transvestites, lesbians and gays demonstrated for the first time against the trampling upon their rights to express their love. Since then, every year there are “pride” demonstrations all over the world, which remind of the so called Stonewall events.

Every year, more and more people gather on Klavtmonos square and this year more than 5000 people took part in the procession. I think next year they should allow us to go to Constitution square! We are a lot!

During the Gay Parade in Sofia there are many opposing demonstrations and the police needs to protect all participants. Were there actions against the parade here? Maybe you should not care about the ones, who do not accept you and they should not care so much about the parades?

Things are still harder in Sofia. The first Gay Parade was organized there last year but there were many provocation attempts and the parade had to be protected by the police. This year, a group from Greece will go to Sofia, in order to support the Sofia Gay Parade, which will take place on June 27^th – Saturday. We want it to be known that we have the right to demonstrate freely our choices. It is clear from now, that many right wings organizations from all over the Balkans will gather, in order to try and stop this demonstration. But they will not succeed. We have to fight for our rights everywhere.

In Greece, the right wing organizations also reacted negatively last year. When we passed under their offices, they started throwing eggs and yogurt. We do not deal with them. They pray and do not want us to exist. But we also need to answer every time they try to stop our freedom of expression. Lesbians, gays, amphisexuals, and transsexuals exist and even during the Second World War, when they try to destroy us, they couldn’t…

For the first time last year, two marriages between homosexual couples became reality in Greece, on Thilos Island. After all, is the road clear in Greece for same sex marriages?

Yes, those two couples got married last year, but this year it was decided that their marriages are not valid and unjustified! The road is not clear yet but last year was the beginning. The road might be rocky, full of holes and up hills but there is a road. We will fight and make it easier. Those two couple are now preparing for court of appeal. Often people ask us whether Greece is ready for same sex marriages. I do not know whether it is ready but I know it is hypocritical.  

Everywhere around us there are couples – gay or lesbian, who live together, go out together, raise children together and grow old together. The Greek society is refusing to recognize those couples. It looks at them as if they are second class citizens and distinguishes them. I do not care what society will say about me and whether it is ready to accept same sex marriage. What I am interested in is to recognize my constitutional right. We all have to pay our taxes and all of us need to have equal rights.

Would you get married?

I never thought about it. In general, I do not believe in marriage and monogamy. I believe it is good to love more than one person in our life. But I want to fight for the right to get married, because we need it and we need to have the right to choose. Marriage is connected to practical things, which are in favor of married couples, when it comes to real estate, health insurances, pension, and other things. The nice thing about marriage is that I can get married to anyone, without necessarily having a love relationship with this person.

There are many art people, who are gay and proud of it – people do not mind their sexual orientation and admire their art… To what extent does the work you do matter whether society will accept you or not?

There is one joke: one boy goes to his father and says: “dad, I’m gay,” and his father asks him: “do you own a yacht? Do you have a house? Do you have your own car?” The son answers: “no.” “Well then, you not gay you are just queer!” answered the father. I do not see things like that. One can be accepted in a certain environment, lets say from art people but outside this circle – he is not accepted. There are so many lesbians and gays in our society that this distinction does not make sense. The problem is that sometimes we cannot imagine that the people close to us are lesbians or gays.

How did you become an activist and joined the movement?

I have been interested in subjects of sex and sexuality for a long time. As a whole, those two things can make me politically active more than anything else. I started three years ago, when I started volunteering for the organization of the Gay Parade. Then I was doing my Masters degree in the Mitilini University and I got the idea to organize a mini-Gay parade there. It went very well and I felt very proud. Then, I returned back to Athens and joined the group, which organizes the Athens Pride. I am also taking part in other groups like the Lesbian Group in Athens and the Greek Gay and Lesbian Community.

How did your closest people react when you told them that you like girls? What did your mom, sister and best friend say?

Actually I do not only like girls, I like boys as well, so that makes me a bisexual. This confuses people even more and it is hard for them to understand it. They tell you – “you can’t have both.” Well yes, I can! Last year I told my sisters and they were terrified. One of my sisters stated crying and asked me “why?” and my other sister does not talk to me. Even though I did not want it, they told my mother but she hasn’t said anything for now. Very often mothers know but they prefer to keep it silent and not learn the truth. Families show their most cruel side when it comes to this. If you are more sensitive, this can crush you and make you hate who you are. But there are also families, who support their children and stay next to them. It depends what parents you have!

Sometimes, don’t you get stressed by the fact that you are not heterosexual?

Of course not! Why should this stress me out? I get stressed by human relationships. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transsexuals face the same problems in our relationships. We hurt other, we get hurt, we are jealous, we fall in love… What worries me is that people are not led by their own desires but the desires of others – family, society. It is better to lose your family, which fights against you and to be free and honest with yourself, instead of pretending your whole life.

What attracts you in people and can make you fall in love?

I fall in love with the person. I do not care whether it is a man or a woman but whether I like him or her as a person. When you are a bisexual you have more choice! (laughing)

Are you in love right now?

No, I’m not in love. I am hurt in the process of a slow recovery… then, I’ll fall in love again!

Gay appearances are tolerated on TV, magazines and especially in life style shows. What do you think about it?

I believe capitalism has entered everywhere. Magazines are interested in placing a gay vision, which will be consumed by customers. The fact that they put gay people in magazines does not mean they are not attacked in their public life. The media just does its job. Not all gays are in magazines, not all are form the same social circles and not all work in fashion.